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  • Lisa Palanca for Palanca Leadership

It Starts at Home


The streetlights are on, time to go home. Don’t play with that, you’ll shoot your eye out. Take your boots off in the house. Because I said so…..

Children are shaped first by their parents.

In my life as a parent, I am sure I have erred many times with advice on things I really had no idea about. My kids turned out to be compassionate people, willing to hear and be heard; people who have a heart.

I hope it was because something I or their dad had done, but I can’t help but think it was experiences and not necessarily what their parents thought that knit together their sense of the rules.

People do what helps them feel like they fit in. It is always feels good to get a laugh. We do what makes a friend. We feel alliances to teams. We do what makes us feel more than.

This message is not often modeled to us by our parents. Some of the worst fans are those parents of young kids whose dreams of scholarships and the Olympics are still a reality. Mom’s groups that are supposed to be for certain moms while others are excluded. Awkward and uncomfortable as it is, doing the right thing as a parent does not come naturally, sometimes.

There are parent faces out there that every teacher knows to not get on the bad side of.

Do We Model Acceptable Behavior to Our Children?

What kind of a world do we portray if we weigh in on the negative all the time?

What kind of behavior is propagated by grumbling under your breath, posting negative comments on social media, yelling opinions louder, bullying your ideas through to a point where people just want you to go away?

Schools and teachers are up against a very high wall at this moment. Right and wrong has taken a backseat to loud and sarcastic.

What a very fine line they walk!

My advice is to stay the righteous course. For the sake of your sanity and the future of these children.

BE NICE. Bullying. Dealing with Prejudice. Mighty Girls are all programs that schools have adopted to teach kids how to behave or be empowered in a good way. Are kids failing at home skills?

The answer is no. Kids are not failing. Parents are.

When I became a parent, no one told me: you are ready now, go be a mom. I made mistakes. I lost my temper. I cried with fatigue and frustration.

It’s normal.

I think the hardest part is when you have to establish a pattern of good decision making and self-control not because that’s how you feel, but that is what your children need to see.

I have written this blog theme before, yet, the pendulum continues to sway far from this point.

I implore parents to have a thoughtful self search where your children are concerned.

Being respectful is not being a sissy.

Thanks for listening.


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